My dad was in insurance, my mum was a spy and in 1982 I burst into the world, at an uncharacteristically enthusiastic pace; since then I have been determined to experience everything that lethargy has to offer.

After what could only be described as an all too commonly painful childhood, I set about my career through a series of mundane and ill thought out decisions. It went a little bit like this… What should I do with my life? Dunno. What interests me? Not sure. Who do I want to work for? No one. How can I spend a while figuring this shit out? Go to art college.

Once I had proven to a printer somewhere in Lancashire, that I could act like a good generic monkey and not be driven totally insane by the subjective whims of a few failed hacks. I finally got my BA (Hons) certificate in Media Production, elegantly presented in a brown envelope.

Then again, I was faced with a bunch of relatively common questions, which pretty much followed the same pattern as those I mentioned previously. With a couple of key differences, mainly that I now ‘knew’ what the world was about, I didn’t like it very much and that I still didn’t have the foggiest what I really wanted to do, about any of it.

It was at this point that I went a little nuts and embarked upon a turbulent journey through space and time, discovering the hidden truth within the soul and reconciling the torrent of cognitive dissonance, for fear of drowning in the enormity of existence…  the outcome of this adventure was featured in the following clip from a BBC TV documentary about interstellar travel…

Surprisingly enough I gained quite a lot from this time, a loving partner, caring friends, some of the finest mental suppressants the NHS has to offer, an appreciation of evolution over revolution and a zest for the life that we want to live, not just what we happen to be living now.